I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
