You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
