please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
