so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
