should my penis look like a turkey
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
