My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
