Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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