Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my poor anus
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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