Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
