it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
