my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
