wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
