I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
