I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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