This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
