I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
