pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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