we're blogging at a bar
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
