Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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