Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
