my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this just has baby written all over it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
