ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
