Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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