I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
