i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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