Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
