its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
