drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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