he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
