would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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