I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm like, not good at living.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
