3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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