Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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