Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
