College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you would pick up someone in the library
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
