Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize