If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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