you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
