it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
