That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
