My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's official drugs can't kill me
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize