This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
