That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize