I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Randomize
