Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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