While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
