super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
