she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am available for nakedness
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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