oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
