He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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