the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
