Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
