i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
