What a fucking waste of an outfit
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You should frame my arrest warrant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize