I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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