Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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