Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
