it wasn't lemon gatorade
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
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I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Damn victory sex feels great
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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