This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
