So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hippo gnu deer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
