I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My feet surprised me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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