What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
