Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
