Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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