dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
