Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
